Monday, December 8, 2008

Thug Life

So, yesterday started off with a bang. Actually, two bangs. Jennie and I slept in pretty late. When we finally got up, she took a trip to the 7-11, and I hopped in the shower. While I was soaping up my parts, I heard a gunshot. "Hmmm, I think that was a gunshot? Maybe just the construction noise?", and then another loud bang. "Nope. Those were gunshots. Shit, I hope Jennie wasn't anywhere in the middle of that." Luckily, she wasn't. She had gone to 7-11, but then decided top go to the Mercado on the corner after. She was in there when the shooting occurred, and everyone started freaking out. I guess a guy on his motorcycle witnessed the shooting, and ran in to use the phone. So, more than ever, Jennie wants to get the hell out of L.A.. I don't know any more details, but I'm guessing that it was fatal: the ambulance arrived with sirens and left silent. It's not the first time I've heard gunshots in the neighborhood, but I'm bummed that it happened so close to Jennie. Otherwise, I'm kind of indifferent. I'm guessing it was the usual gangster shit, and I don't think there's much I can feel about it. It happens. It's the city. One of the kids that worked for me in the back stock of American Apparel got shot and killed in his backyard earlier this year. I was bummed, because he was a nice enough guy at work, and he did a good job, without complaining. But, he was into gangster shit, and he got killed over some minor squabble. But, like most of the people I worked with, I don't have much experience in that lifestyle. All I know is that shooting at each other is common enough, and life expectancy is low. I attended an independent study high school my junior year, in San Jose. I was definitely the minority, a white kid with blue hair, and not running with any crew. Fights broke out daily between the other students. Almost weekly, they talked about friends that had been killed over whatever these kids get killed for. I was never in the middle of any conflict, one of my classmates told me that they assumed I was crazy. I kind of am, but I definitely would have gotten annihilated if any beef came my way. I don't know what my point is. I guess I'm just saying that my capacity for compassion is almost gone. I don't care about these things, and maybe I should. Not that I want to go volunteer with youth counselors, or anything, but I feel like I should be afraid when people are getting killed a block away. But... I'm not. I just don't care.


Batguano said...

The extreme apathy seems weird at first, but then I think about my neighborhood... every neighborhood I've lived in. I've been in the same house four-plus years, and I think I know maybe one neighbor's name (Jill?). In the Big City, it's easy to merge the faces around you with the numbers you hear on the news, since that's all you have to go by. But when you stop caring about your own safety... yeah it might be time to get out!

Ouen said...

This is not just you, it's what is called Zeitgeist. The spirit of the age. The instability of society, the inability to attain a decent set of living conditions for all, the decay that will always be with us and we know will never improve.
Ce La Vie Bro.