Fed up.

I went to the skatepark in East Los yesterday, and really tried to give her, but damn was it crowded. Towards the end, I crashed up with some little kid and we both went flailing through the air. Then some dude got in my face, telling me not to skate so fast, because of all the children. Fuck? Anyway, I was inspired by the experience, and I now present to you my list of Universal Skatepark rules. These rules should be violently enforced, and no exceptions shall be made.
1. No bikes, blades, scooters, snakeboards, Heelies, soccer balls, basketballs, tennis balls, or any hybrid thereof. Skateboards only.
2. No buttboarding, kneeboarding, or ghostriding/kicking skateboards out willy-nilly.
3. No tea parties on the ramps. Do not stand or sit in the middle of the park, i.e.: on the pyramid, in the bowl, in the ride-up areas.
4. If you are not riding a skateboard, go sit in the spectator area. If you are a little girl carrying a puppy, you have no business in the skatepark proper.
5. Do not practice flatground, or play S.K.A.T.E. in the ride up areas. There is plenty of flatground in the parking lot, or pretty much anywhere else you go. So go work on your shitty flip tricks somewhere away from the roll-in.
6. Do not spill or slobber your sticky food and drinks in the park. Seriously.
7. Stop painting and scribbling your shitty attempts at graffiti on the park. Go look at some real burners, and then ask yourself if your skills are even close. If not, quit uglying up the landscape.
8. Look around you. Before you drop in, take a look around the park and be aware of people dropping in from other directions.

I'm sure I could come up with a few more, but these are dead simple, and should be understood by anyone. Maybe we can get these in people's heads, and then we don't have to think of them as rules anymore. They will just be common sense. Beat kids.