"Bloated on Mammalian Flesh"

IllCon Illuminati. This 6 song Apocryphon disc was discovered in a cave located outside modern day Afghanistan by Ancient Astronaut Theorist, Giorgio A. Tsoukalos. Nearby were a pile of post-Cretaceous period fossils and humanoid remains. Tsoukalos has speculated that "The demented tones contained within this recording were probably made by aliens, maybe. It definitely is advanced technology, and the square shape of the wooden container leads me to believe that it was manufactured by extra-terrestrials, because aliens like four sided things. Like the pyramids. Totally aliens. Probably." Other "experts"

Expert.

have agreed that the guitar-shreddery is definitely super-human, and the vocals far too disgusting to be created by human vocal organs. The thunderous cacophony of the drums call to mind the hideous rites performed by the Tcho-tcho peoples, as captured in field recordings by noted Occult Scientist, Obed Marsh (RIP). [Also, there is some killer bass playing. However, this is a metal record, so we're just gonna ignore it. - Ed.] According to legend, the Tcho-tchos descended from a race of dwarfs known as the Miri Nigri, who in turn were created from the flesh of prehistoric reptiles. The Tcho-tchos indulged in an unknown hallucinogenic compound during their worship of the Great Old One, Hastur. Ceremonies involved orgiastic frenzy and human and animal sacrifices. Expert Theorists have speculated that Apocryphon was one such cult of The Unspeakable One. To listen to this recording may cause one to become possessed by Hastur. In that event, one's bones become gelatinous, the skin turns to scales, and they will become the embodiment of entropy. I highly recommend it.

Mortals bow before your masters (DL)

Give them some money for stuff here.

Skate Fast! Thrash Fast!

Useless Wooden Toys hail from Mpls, MN. and play some raging, duel vocal hardcore thrash/smith grind about skating, moshing, and not taking shit so damn seriously all the fucking time. Disrobe are from Chicago. They share members with the Rat Bastards, and sound fairly similar, only faster. I'm just not in the mood for a proper write-up at the moment, so just DL this already.

DAGGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (DL)

(Sadly, Chris Johnson, one of the vocalists from UWT was killed one year and a week ago today at a party by some rotten piece of shit. Even though I didn't know him that well, I can honestly say that this was a tremendous loss. My heart goes out to Ryan, Steve, Cookie, and Chris. Thanks for playing in my basement way back when, and I hope you guys continue to skate and thrash with a fervor as yet unknown.)

They're fucking with me... Subliminally

This is just some filler. That sounds wrong, let me explain: I've noticed that there are some glaring omissions in my music collection. Empty places where some vital albums should be. A lot of times, this happens because I know an album so well, that it never occurs to me that I haven't listened to it for years. In fact, I usually don't even have a decent copy. So this is just an album I think everyone should have. This is the beginning of skate thrash. Suicidal Tendencies, s/t debut album from Frontier Records, 1983. Produced by famed skate/punk/hip-hop photographer, Glen E. Friedman. "All I wanted was a Pepsi..." has become the punk equivalent of Travis Bickle's, "You talkin to me?", but that's no reason to skip this. (I photographed the vinyl, but the actual rip is from the CD.) Fill those gaps, people.


Kill Yourself

With Full Of Smiling Fate...

I have to admit something... I have total Jap Envy. I know that reading this, some members of my family will be quite upset, because I come from a fairly racist clan (though they would never admit it). It seems that most Americans are split when it comes to the denizens of the Land of the Rising Sun. Either they feel that the Japanese simply steal our ideas, and sell them back at a mark-up, or, like me, they are blown away at the level of perfection the Japanese bring to their endeavors. Now, I'm not claiming to be an expert on Japanese culture. I don't speak the language, I've never been closer than California, I don't like Sushi (Though, I appreciate its aesthetic quality. Jennie makes adorable heart shaped rolls at home.), and I've never enjoyed the company of a Companion Girl. I am, however, a fan of many of their exports. Their groundbreaking animation, such as "FLCL", "Spirited Away", and "Paprika". All of which blow just about anything American out of the water, with the possible exception of Pixar films. I've read a few books on the Yakuza, and I highly recommend the book "Speed Tribes" for a look at the seedy subcultures us round-eyes are often unaware of. So, today I'm sharing with you a fine example of Japanese ingenuity: Melt-Banana. An almost perfect blend of Noise and Punk. Thrash and Studio-trickery. Cute and Spastic. "Charlie" is wholly original in its mashing of genres. In fact, I'd call them one of maybe twenty absolutely unique bands. Please to enjoy.




Ichiban!