Friday, August 26, 2011

"Wear something sexy and meet me at midnight."

[Originally, in this space, I had just listed every naughty word or phrase that I could come up with at two in the morning. It was a pretty long list. Then I realized that the spike in the amount of unwanted traffic/trolls my misanthropic little blahg would suddenly experience could be very annoying. So the dirty talk will just have to stay between me and the cat. This is a compilation of songs about horizontal action, or "doin' it." I like to talk about fucking and getting high, because if I am an expert at doing two things, it is fucking and getting high. Ok, maybe not an expert, per se. But, unlike Ian McKaye, "at least I fucking tried!" I already covered the subject of "Drugs" over at iLLcON, so here I am giving you, "Sex." Not literally, of course. That would not be enjoyable for either of us, seeing as how I finally got both my tentacle surgery, and my marsupial pouch (photos soon). As Burroughs said, "we see god through our assholes in the flashbulb of orgasm." Your girlfriend will hate this because it reminds her of how inadequate you are in the sack. Also, she will shave her head and grow her armpit hair. You're going to be eating hair pie, and that's if you're lucky. I still can't figure out how to get the tracks in the order I want, which pisses me off because I grew up in the age of actual "mixtapes." Lovingly crafted, handmade pieces of art, which were way more intimate and meaningful than this blogging business will ever get. You were gonna masturbate in twenty minutes anyway, why not let this compilation set the pace. I'm off to youjizz, myself, as soon as I finish these nachos. Love you. - RyGar]

download smut (DL)


8mm said...

Tell me the truth now before I get mad. Was I the best lover you ever had?

RyGar said...

"It certainly looked good when you were on top... If I get the blame, then I get the credit, too."